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Or at least – that’s what the books that I’ve been reading state. And here I am placing myself in ‘win/lose’ situations. What am I talking about, you may ask?

I’m learning to play the fine game of ‘pickle-ball’ which is surging in popularity for those of us who want a challenge and would be considered ’mature adults’. For those who don’t know, it’s a court game, deceivingly simple and  very good exercise.

And pickle ball is as much a ‘head-game’ as much as it is a ‘physical game’. Believing in yourself, believing in your capacity to learn, believing in your body.

However, it’s the winner/loser theme that I’ve been exploring with myself. I can play six or seven games over a period of two hours and not win a game. I can have scores of up to 11 (which is the number one wants) -but not magically win. And then I walk away and feel despondent.

I’ve found myself wishing I had a different body, a different skill set, etc. Basically ‘wishing’ my life away. And I realize (intellectually) that thinking like this is so self-defeating. No kiddding. And obsessive and just plain un-healthy.

It’s the same thing with writing. I stopped for a period of time recognizing that after all these years of trying to learn to write commercial fiction that I will not be on The New York Times Best Seller List. So, does that mean I should stop writing? Should I stop dreaming? Should I stop creating my imaginary worlds?

Just because ’you’re not winning’ doesn’t mean that you should be categorized as a ‘loser’. I spent decades in schools, working with students, trying to improve their self-esteem so that they could learn to face the challenges in their lives.

I have to remember my own advice.

It’s all about the journey. Lighten up Jodie!